Posts by Gulf Coaster

44

Things I remember growing up in the 70s

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

i remember sitting on my daddy's lap and driving an imaginary car, i also remember sitting on my mummies lap on the front seat, without a seat belt whilst my dad drove a real car.

i remember we bought fish and chips from the chippy wrapped in yesterday's newspapers.

i remember bouncing up and down on my space hopper in the garden.

Gulf Coaster

My dad had a van for his business. On weekends, he'd take out all his tools and gear from the back and we'd go to the beach. Since the van only had two seats in the front, with no seat belts, he'd put patio chairs in the back of the van for us to sit on. If we ever got rowdy or whinged too much, he'd either brake, accelerate or swerve, sending us flying in the back. We laugh about it now but these days, he'd probably get arrested, despite us never getting hurt.

I grew up in Australia so fish and chips were the best thing too. Wrapped in newspaper, of course. We'd sneak out of the schoolyard once a week, to the local chippy around the corner. Things always taste best when forbidden. We'd toss our sandwiches in the bin or feed them to the magpies. When we got caught, we'd get the stick for punishment, and not do it again. For a few weeks.

12

Something's Gotta Give

by pale.emperor in

i've been 100% alone since my df last month.

i'm dead to my family now, unless i return to their cult - so i recently made contact with 3 former jw's that were in my cong when i was in my youth.

to my surprise, they all had exactly the same doubts and reasoning i had and said even though they've been out 6-7 years they "still feel tied to it in some way" and "feel guilty celebrating xmas or birthdays".

Gulf Coaster

FayeDunaway has a very valuable point there. Once you look into the background of the jw cult, you see it for what it is. A man-made scam.

I left way before the internet days so my research consisted of a few books in the Religion section of the library. The fact that I was doing that research was a clear indication that I felt there was something very wrong with that "religion". I felt that from about age 15 and over the next few years I became 100% convinced that the cult was full of sh**.

So when I left at age 20, I felt no guilt at jumping right into the worldly life because I knew those simple joys were not wrong. Christmas, Halloween, birthdays, singing the anthem, playing sports, sleeping in on the weekends, clubbing, swearing, making my own true friends who did all of that and more.

No guilt but the ties are still there today, 36 years later, because my 88 year old mother is still in and will die in it. She shunned me for a few years but after that, I forged a civil but cool relationship with her. Out of obligation, I suppose. I avoid talking about her cult because that's the fastest way to get her yabbering on about her jehoohah and how I need to return, blah blah blah. I change the subject, or end the call. Even after she dies, that tie will still be there because I'll look back and see that I didn't have the same close, loving relationship my friends and family have with their mothers. And I will forever look back at the early years of my life and see the deprivations and bizarreness of it, thanks to the cult.

I wouldn't worry if you don't feel you're ever totally over it. It's not surprising because face it, the cult damages us.

15

For those that carry on as JWs secretly not believing.....

by snare&racket in

jw
friends

my heart goes out for all people stuck in all high control groups, either with insight into the falsehood of their beliefs or none.. to remain a member whilst knowing it false however, must be soul destroying.. my question is, would you carry on living the lie if you discovered that we get one life, one go at existing.

it's short, it's fragile and nobody in 100 years will care we even existed..... .......if you came to that realisation would you quit?.

.......if you had children, would you leave in order to set them an example in strength and appreciation of the short time we enjoy?.

Gulf Coaster

I lived that lie for about 4 years, only because I couldn't just up and leave. I was in my teens and had nowhere to go to. So I pretended and lived the lie until I could get myself established financially and get an outside network of support. Many have to stay stuck in for years, for various reasons, despite knowing it's all soul-crushing BS and a waste of life. My heart goes out to them because I know what it's like but at least I had an end goal to look forward to.

47

Don't have sexual fantasies! Today's watchtower...

by purrpurr in

the watchtower today says not to think of sex, or to have sexual fantasies.

i'm just wondering... how many people in the hall hearing this watchtower today would be having sexual fantasies?

sitting there thinking about sister hottie or brother hunky ?.

Gulf Coaster

Of course people have sexual fantasies, so by saying you shouldn't have them, they're just making you feel guilty. The cult is all about tearing you down, making you feel less than, not good enough, bad. The only praise is for doing jehoohah's work, bothering people at their houses or on the streets with those carts. And even with that, it's never enough.

10

My son is going off to a university this fall

by Tameria2001 in

jw
friends

hello everyone, i have some really good news, and just can't hold it in any longer.

my youngest is going off to a university in august, and he will be majoring in business management, and marketing.

when i see what my son is doing with his life, it makes the decision to leave the jws, i made all those years ago, when his older brother was just starting school, all the more worth it.

Gulf Coaster

Fantastic news. It makes it feel even sweeter when you know what the alternative could have been, had you not made the courageous decision to leave. I'm always thankful when I think of the joyful, free lives my own two got to live, compared to the dismal existence I had for 11 years. What many take for granted (those who were never trapped in a cult), we appreciate perhaps more. Enjoy!

51

" you will never grow old..."

by mrquik in

jw
friends

" you will never grow old..." a more grievous lie is hard to imagine.

i heard this one first in 1957. i was 6. my mother had just converted.

i heard it many times after that.

Gulf Coaster

My JW mother is quite bitter about that trope. She'll be 88 and her health isn't the best. When she talks about her many aches and pains, she'll often petulantly add "I wasn't supposed to grow old!".

She had swallowed that one hook, line and sinker. So much so that when I walked away years ago, she screamed at me that I was going to die and she'd live forever, with a smug look on her face. We don't discuss her cult anymore since it's a guaranteed way to make the conversation descend into vitriol but I can tell there's a lot of disappointment in it for her. There's certainly no joy. Going to meetings and conventions seems like a chore for her now. I guess she wasn't expecting to have to endure that soul-crushing boredom for so long (46 years).

15

Disco Haters - Buzz Off

by berrygerry in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jozs6lgqyi.

the beegees were awesome, and our scientology bro travolta had the best white man moves, period.. stay alive, baby.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_izvabhexy.

Gulf Coaster

That was my era. I was 16. And hot for Barry and John. I mean, Barry's hair! Wow! And those tight white pants. I believe he was going commando. Mmmm, mmmm, mmmmmm.

Yeah, but stuck in the JW world, I couldn't dance much, not like that anyway. I played those records when my mother was out. Loud. Or stuck my headphones on at night, played my Bee Gees and Saturday Night Fever soundtrack on my little cassette player. Loud.

Just played it loud now. Great memories. Thanks.

18

Since My Mom's Death--not a JW in sight !

by minimus in

jw
friends

i had one lovebombing when she died by the congregation and since then---- nada.

lol.

Gulf Coaster

It's been a long time for me but I always got the message from the dubs that you shouldn't make a big deal of a loved one dying because you're going to see them in the new system. And that if you grieve too much it means you don't have that faith, so there's something wrong with you. If you're not a JW, then they just don't care about you anyway.

Sorry for your loss, I know it must be really rough for you.

13

physical and emotional abuse from JWs

by 060702015 in

is physical and emotional abuse taken seriously in jws ?

do they address this form of abuse that their members inflict on others?

.

Gulf Coaster

Smacking young kids if they were noisy or fidgety at meetings was a normal thing at my KH. If that didn't work, then it was the typical 'grab the kid and haul them to the back, or outside, in front of everyone, to give them a good walloping'. You could often hear the smacks or the howls of the assaulted child. I don't know if that falls under "physical abuse" for you, but it does for me, given it wasn't for really good or serious reasons. Even then, it'd be abuse. It's unreasonable to expect young kids, 2 or 3 years old, sometimes younger, to sit like good little JWbots in their seat for the whole meeting.

It went far beyond just one smack on the butt, which I'm okay with on the rare occasion when nothing else works and it's a really serious matter. Bruises were the norm and it was inflicted on older kids too. I remember parents talking quite proudly about their disciplining their kids this way to each other. It made them look good in the eyes of the KH. I often skipped P.E. because I didn't want the bruises on my arms and legs visible to my classmates. This was back in the day when you didn't report this kind of thing - 70s.

When I was about 19, I couldn't maintain the pretense anymore, having woken up at least 4 years earlier and loathing every minute of the JW existence forced on me, the advice my mother got from an elder's wife, as to "what to do about my spiritual weakness", was: Beat her. This from an elder's wife. Note the word "beat". No shame in it either. I don't know about today. I hope it's not as bad.

And the emotional abuse, well, like others here have said, that's part and parcel of the cult.

26

Governing Body Anthony Morris gives talk at convention. Child refuses blood dies

by Watchtower-Free in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yxw_wxyviu .

Gulf Coaster

I wish the legal system would see that it's not really a choice, especially for young ones. It's coercion. You refuse blood because of the consequences you will suffer. Not by the sky fairy but your own family and community. That's huge for anyone, let alone a kid.